Built My Life Around You
by Sweet-Porcelain16
Summary: Jeff Sterling has fallen for his best friend. Hard. It's a shame Nick's straight. Neff. Angst. Beware of the angst. T for language, sexual references, drunken-ness, my usual. Review! Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ummm... Some Neff for you. This is the first fanfic I've ever written in 1st person. Written from Jeff's POV. Enjoy :) **

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I'm not gay. I've alway's been attracted to girls, always. It's just him. Just the one guy that changed how I see myself.

I'm not into labels. I don't know what I am. Bi, maybe. I don't really care.

When you're in love with your best friend, everything changes. Suddenly every innocent touch feels like something more. Every accidental brush of hands, touch of shoulders when you walk together. Everything that he says, you think about very, _very _carefully, because maybe, just maybe, there's a hidden meaning there. He's sworn he's straight, on many occasions. When Wes was saying that his outfit was "Gayer than Blaine's." Or when David made an innuendo out of an innocent sentance. But then, I've sworn I'm straight too. Maybe even more times than Nick. Because I have to more often. Because the things I say usually _do _have a hidden meaning.

I'm not good with feelings. Expressing them, I mean. Oh, sure, I can write everything down. But when it comes to speaking, I'm at loss. The words trip over themselves, and I give up trying to express myself. I get all embarrassed, and turn red. Start stammering. Until Nick saves me by changing the subject. That's the thing. We're best friends, Nick and I. I can't just go up to him and declare my undying love for him. Not after all these times that I've sworn I'm straight as a ruler, or scoffed at Kurt's suggestion that we really should go out. It's just not something that's done.

It'd be so awkward, so humiliating when he turned me down. He'd be so apologetic, but he'd explain clearly but kindly that he just wasn't into guys. And that he saw me as a best friend. And that's all. It doesn't sound too bad, written down like that. But then he'd know. Anything I did, _he'd _be looking for a hidden meaning. He would be uncomftable with touching me. Suddenly, me taking him by the hand to pull him to class on time wouldn't be so innocent. Especially when I just couldn't bring myself to let go of his hand first.

Anything I did would be read into. Nick would be worried that I was hitting on him all the time. He's not homophobic - the opposite, in fact. He's one of the most open minded and accepting people I know. He wouldn't stop being friends with me because I was gay. But he wouldn't be comftorble around me. He wouldn't chat to me in the locker rooms, dispite neither of us wearing shirts, like he does now. He wouldn't grab my hand if he was scared, like he did when Thad persuaded us to watch a horror movie one night. He wouldn't hug me goodbye when we parted to go to our own separate rooms like he does every night.

We're not overly touchy-feely. Not like some of the girls at Crawford, who walk around everywhere, hands or arms linked. But we do hug, unlike most teenage boys. But that's normal, for really good friends, right? For best friends?

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So. I have my feelings out of the way.

I'm not usually one to write a diary. I don't _want _a diary. But I needed to get all of that out somehow. Apparantly, you shouldn't keep feelings all bottled up. You should let them free. So here I am, letting them free.

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_Took my love and I took it down, _

_I climbed a mountain and I turned around, _

_And I saw my reflection, in the snow covered hills, _

_'Till the Landslide brought me down, _

_Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love, _

_Can the child within my heart, rise above, _

_Can I sail through the changing, ocean tides, _

_Can I handle the seasons, of my life, _

_Well, I've been afraid of changing, _

_Cause I built my life around you, _

_But time makes you bolder, _

_Children get older, _

_And I'm getting older, too._

_So, take this love and take it down._

_If you climb a mountain and you turn around, _

_And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills, _

_Well maybe, a Landslide will bring you down _

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Why does the radio have to be so mean to me? Of all the songs that could have come on. Landslide. It's not even recent. But... It's one of those songs that just describes how you feel. Like, exactly.

_Well, I've been afraid of changing, _

_Cause I built my life around you,_

Stevie Nicks, get out of my head.

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"Hey, Jeff!" Nick ran down the hallway grinning, doing a little jump to land at my side. I couldn't help but grin a little at how eager he was to see me.

"'Sup, Nick?" I replied, not bothering to bite back my grin any more, as he went to start our private handshake. Handshakes are kinda Nick's thing. He has one with pretty much everyone, but ours is the best. It's sort of a fist bump, and then a double clap, and then- I dunno. Something complicated. Well, it's the bestest.

"Dude? You spaced out there."

"Oh, yeah, I..."

"Come on, Warbler rehersal." Nick always knows when to change the subject. But then he grabbed my hand, pulling me down the hall, and I couldn't stop the butterflies dancing in my stomach at the touch. It's one of those feelings, where you're suddenly nervous but you don't know why, because you've done this a thousand times before, but it feels so nice still, and then you're wondering what _he_'s feeling - does he get butterflies when he touches me? I doubt it. But all too soon, we're outside the room used for rehersal, and he's dropped my hand. I sighed inwardly at the loss of contact.

"Nick! Jeff! You're late, again." Wes followed us in with his eyes, watching us take a seat on the couch. He suddenly broke into a smile.

"You two should go out." He winked at us both, smirking at our discomfort. I threw a book at his head, which, unfortuantley, narrowly missed. He hit his gavel on the table.

"I was _joking_, boys. You joke enough about me and David..." Wes pointed out. David gave us an awkward smile.

"It's true," Blaine agreed, "You joke about me and Kurt all the time."

"That's because you could cut the sexual tension between you two with a knife!" I almost shouted, noticing only as I finished that Nick had been saying the same thing. Kurt just smirked.

"We could also cut the sexual tension between _you two _with a knife."

Wes banged his gavel hard on the table (_Oh whoops. That sounded wrong_.)

"Shut up. You all have sexual tension, or whatever it is you're fighting about. Now, Blaine. You had a song for us?"

I rolled my eyes, noticing Nick do the same thing next to me. Of course Blaine had a song for us.

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**A/N: I don't even know what to think about this. It's not what I'd usually write... I do write Neff, but I'm not very good at expressing other people's emotions. So, what did you think? Should I continue? Review! :) xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm supposed to be doing homework. But of course, I'm not. so, here's another chapter. there are a couple of mentions of A Very Potter Musical in this chapter- Watch it if you haven't. Go on. It's amazing. Oh, I had a review asking for Nick's POV. I wasn't planning on doing that, but, I'll leave it up to you guys. What do you think? Nick's POV or not? But, for now, this is Jeff. Enjoy ;) x**

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_1 New Message - The Greatest Guy Ever _

I rolled my eyes at Nick's latest phone-hack. Any time I'd leave my phone alone for even a second, he'd hack it; either changing his name, or mine, or sending messages to another Warbler. Once, Kurt had recieved a _very _interesting text from 'me', proclaming my undying love for him. And his ass. Needless to say, I recieved a very confused text back from Kurt, saying that whilst he was flattered, he was dating Blaine. Of course, I already knew that, and I didn't really have feelings for Kurt, or his ass. I still haven't got Nick back for that one, actually.

_Hey :) You'll never guess who this text is from. I mean, who else would ever know you well enough to guess what your phone password is every single time? ;) Anyways, wanna come and watch a movie with me? I'm boooooooreeeddddd! xx_

I couldn't help but smile a little at the 'xx' at the end of the text. Back when Nick got his first cell phone, when he was 11, he thought that 'xx' just meant 'bye', because that's what his big sister would finish all her texts with. That's when he was first bullied, in Middle school, when he'd send texts to people, ending them in 'xxxxxxx'. He was pegged as 'gay' immediatley. Once he found out that x's at the end of texts were actually like kisses, he only put them on texts to his family, or me. Seeing those little letters at the end of his texts always makes my heart swell.

_Yo. I know, right! Someone must have such a great imagination. 'The Greatest Guy Ever' - what an original idea! I only wish I could be as witty as whoever hacked my phone. (Note blatant use of sarcasm, dude.) And we're psychic. Of course you know my passwords, just like I know yours. ;) Anywayyyy, I'll be over in a second :) xx_

Yeah. We're practically psychic. We say the same stuff at the same time. A lot. And we always know what the other is thinking. At first it was kinda creepy, but now it's just cool. Of course, we don't _actually _know what each other are thinking. If he always knew what I was thinking, then I'd be screwed. Throwing pajamas and a bag of microwave popcorn into an old carrier bag, I headed off down the hallway to Nick's room. Somehow, Wes had managed to pursuade the Prinepal that Warblers should have their own rooms, and not have to share. Something about singing practice disturbing studying roommates. But then, Wes could probably make someone believe that the sky was red. He's very pursuasive.

I kicked open the door to Nick's room without knocking, knowing that he'd be waiting for me. He was waiting, lounging on his bed, with his laptop already set up in front of him.

"Hey, man," he greeted, beckoning for me to come and sit with him, scooting over so that there was room for us both on the small single bed.

"What are we watching?" I asked, chucking my bag by the door and settling myself next to him. I couldn't help the way my heart accelerated when I found out the only way to fit on the bed would be if our sides were touching. A lot.

"A Very Potter Musical," he told me simply. I grinned. A Very Potter Musical was our favourite thing, ever. He clicked on the AVPM playlist on YouTube, full screened it, and winked at me as the first notes of_ Goin' Back To Hogwarts _started.

"I call dibs on Draco,"

"Huh," I faked being annoyed, before adding, "As long as I'm Harry."

"No, no, NO! You can be Draco. I want to be Harry." Nick quickly decided. I smirked. That works every time. He _always _wants to be Harry. And we both always want to be Draco. Because, come on, Lauren Lopez is just supermegafoxyawesomehot.

We have this tradition of assigning parts and singing them. It's amazing fun, and, though I'd never admit it, the best bit is that we get to sing a couple of romantic duets. Not that I'd ever say that. To _Anyone. _Especially not Nick.

The song played, and we called dibs on characters seconds before they started singing. By the end of _Goin' Back To Hogwarts _we were both out of breath but smiling. We watched the show, quoting lines to each other, both of us knowing the whole thing off by heart.

"I'm Ginny!" I grinned, as the opening bars of _Harry _started. Nick groaned - _Harry _was one of his favourite songs. It was also one of mine.

"_The way his hair falls in his eyes, _

_Makes me wonder if he'll, _

_Ever see through my disguise, _

_And I'm under his spell" _

I sang, carefully trying not to put any emotion into the song. If I let that last wall come down, the only one that hadn't crumbled for Nick, then I'd have nothing left. Nothing left to give the boy who I felt like I owed everything. He deserved everything. But I couldn't give it to him. Couldn't let him know that there was something there, that I felt something other than friendship for the him. Because then everyting would be spoiled. Our perfect friendship, would be ruined by my emotions. Emotions that I wished I could control. Emotions that were threatening to take over as I sung, because, the lyrics were perfect.

_"Everything is falling, _

_And I don't know where to land, _

_Everyone knows who he is, _

_But they don't know who I am, _

_Harry, _

_Harry, _

_Why can't you see, _

_What you're doing to me?" _

You know you've failed in being emotionless when you find yourself almost replacing _Harry _with his name, tears rolling down your face. You know you've failed when you have to stop, because you can't breath through the sobs. When you're best friend; the reason you're in this state, pulls you close, hugging you, and asking to know what's wrong. And you know you can't tell him. Because then he'd let go of you. But I have to tell him _something. _I can't just sit here sobbing, and tell him that nothing's wrong, when something clearly is. He wouldn't let me.

"It's just a girl," I improvise, not knowing where I'm going with this. Nick nods in understanding, still hugging me close.

"I'm sorry," he murmers into my hair, his tone sympathetic and heart breakingly compassionate, that I can't stop the tears. I didn't know it was possible to be 'Heart breakingly compassionate," but the way he seemed to know, to understand about a _girl. _That he knew exactly what it felt like to hopelessly pine over a girl. And I knew it all along, that he was straight, but it broke me even so.

"I'm sorry," I choked, sitting up. "I'm fine now. Let's carry on with the show."

"No. We'll finish it tomorrow. Let's get to sleep." He closed his laptop, shutting off the image of Ginny with the guitar. Jumping off the bed, he held out his hands.

"Chuck us some cusions, will you?" I knew what he was trying to do. Distract me. That was nice of him, but impossible. You can't distract someone from the guy they're thinking about with said guy. Nick couldn't distract me from Nick.

I changed into my pajamas, and climbed onto Nick's couches. We did this all the time, slept in each other's rooms, on the couches. We only lived accross the hall from each other, but it usually felt like I lived in Nick's room, and vice versa. We do spend most of our time in Nick's room, rather than mine, simply for the fact that Blaine's room is next to mine, and, as much as we love Klaine, and are very happy that they're happy, we don't need to _hear _them. But Nick's couch is pretty much where I sleep every night these days.

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**A/N: Ahh. Short. Sorry. The next one will probably be longer:) Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: It's been a while! Sorry! Have some virtual Redvines. **_**Italics **_**are Jeff's thoughts :) Some strong language in this chapter. **

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"Jeff!"

"Yeah?"

"Come here. I need to talk to you."

The hallway was empty, Nick and I the only ones there. He was standing a couple of metres away from me, leaning againsed a door frame, his hair falling in his eyes slighly in the most adorable way. Of course, I made my way over to him, my heart swelling at the look on his face. At how happy he looked to see me. He smiled as I drew closer, holding out his hand for me to take. I took it straight away, no questions asked. His eyes sought mine, his gaze intense.

"Jeff," He sighed, tilting his head slightly. "Jeff, there's something I need to tell you. Something that I've wanted to tell you for a while. It's just..." My heart was pounding in my chest, a hundred miles an hour, becuase this was... This was just what I needed to hear, what I'd always wanted to hear.

"I love you." He murmured, his eyes bright.

"I love you, too."

And then his lips were on mine. My heart seemed to stop for a second. And then I was kissing back, cupping his face with the hand that wasn't already interwined with his, shivering as he stroked my back, running his fingers gently down my side. He deepened the kiss, and I responded eagerly, wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him closer.

"Nick..."

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I woke with a start, sitting bolt upright in bed.

"Shit."

It wasn't the first time I'd dreamed of Nick, not by a long shot. But it was the first time that I'd dreamed of him whilst he was-

"Oh shit, oh shit-"

"Jeff." Hearing his voice only brought back the memories of the dream, making my cheeks flush, and my heart pound. I pulled the duvet closer around my waist to hide the _evidednce _of the dream, hoping that I hadn't spoken; said his name out loud...

"Jeff, are you alright?"

...Fine, fine..." It was clearly a lie.

"Dude, you were making these _noises_, and then you said my name-" Well, _shit_ "- and then you woke up!"

_Improvise, come on, Jeff, you can do this_...

"It was a nightmare," I started.

_Couldn't be further from the truth_.

"- I dreamed that... That we were being tortured. Both of us. By _Them_. And... Then they killed... They killed you."

Sometimes, being an actor _really _payed off. I hated using our past againsed him, but it had to be done. He'd know who '_They_' were, and he'd lose any suspicion that he might have had. I was a horrible person.

"Aw, Jeff," He murmered, coming to sit next to me on the couch, and wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

_Think of dead things, don't let him see what he does to you... _

"It's okay. You're here, it's all fine. It was just a dream."

_Unfortunatly. _

"I know," I muttered, 'innocently' shuffling closer to him, loving how he hugged me closer reflexivley.

"It's only one-thirty," He said, into my hair, "Go back to sleep. I'm right here."

It's hard to sleep, with your head on the shoulder of the man you love. When he's absently stroking your hair, or whispering comforting things in your ear. It was only once he'd fallen asleep that I could even attempt it. He shifted slightly, so that my head was againsed his chest. I just lay there for a while, feeling the heavy rise and fall of his chest, listening to his heart beat. I'd always laughed in 'Twilight'; when Edward admitted to watching Bella sleep; I'd called him a stalker, and turned the terrible movie off. But now I could see what he meant. It was kinda facinating, watching someone sleep. Eventually, I fell asleep too, never once moving from my position againsed Nick's chest.

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Need. It's not a want any more. I need him. I don't know how I can bear it. But I have to. Because he's _right there_, our faces only inches apart, his lips parted slightly, just begging for me to - No. I can't kiss him, not now. Not ever. He's straight, for crying out loud. He's straight, and even if he wasn't, then why would he want me?

"You blinked!" Nick suddenly shouted, tearing me out from my thoughts.

"Shush. No I didn't."

"You _did_!"

"Not."

He rolled his eyes, scooting backwards. I couldn't help but feel disapointed. We were lounging around in one of the common rooms, playing random games to occupy ourselves until Warbler rehersal.

"I win. Deal with it." Nick grinned, raising his eyebrows slightly, daring me to challenge him.

"Uhh, no, actually, I win," I argued. To be honest, he was probably right. I wasn't concentrating on the staring competition - how could I when his face was _that freaking close_? I probably _did _blink. But like I was going to admit that.

"Really? You want to fight for this, do you? Really?" He tilted his head so that he was looking at me through his eye lashes, a small smirk on his lips. It was like he knew exactly what he was doing to me. Just that look had me ready to give in. To give him whatever the fuck he wanted and more. But I wasn't going to give in; of course not.

"Yep," I smirked back, leaning backwards so that I was almost lying on my back, propped up by my elbows, letting my t-shirt ride up my stomach a little, exposing just enough skin.

_Two can play at this game. _

I watched his eyes flitter to my waist; and did a mental victory dance. He was looking at me. Not like he usually did. It was different. His eyes lingered for just a moment, before travelling up my body, until his gaze held my own. He swallowed nervously, and I knew I'd probably done the same. Not that I would have noticed. His eyes were wide, unblinking, his gaze unwavering. My heart pounded in my chest. I had no idea what was going on, and I doubted Nick did either. But the way he was looking at me - and the way I was looking at him - That wasn't friendship. That was more, so much more.

"Guys, what the hell are you doing in here? It's rehersal, like- ten minutes ago!" Blaine didn't seem to realise that he'd just ruined a _moment. _I blinked, trying to bring myself back to reality again. I looked up, trying to catch Nick's eye. But Nick was gone.

"Jeff, hurry up!" Blaine groaned, holding out a hand so that I could pull myself up easily. And then he was gone, too.

I didn't realise that Kurt had been there in the first place, but he was here now, leaning on one of the couches; waiting for me. His look was entirly sympathetic.

"Talk to me," He instructed as we left the room, silently falling in to step together.

"What about?" I faked ignorence. I don't know why I bothered. He knew. Of course he knew.

"Nick."

"I- You know."

"I do. But I want to hear it from you." He explained, his voice gentle; understanding.

"I-" I broke off again, sighing. I was about to admit something that I'd never said out loud. "I'm in love with him."

Kurt nodded, stopping suddenly. I did the same, and he moved so that we stood face to face.

"Jeff, I know exactly what it's like."

"No you don't-" I started. He was with Blaine. Blaine had loved Kurt all along, judging by the way he went on about him, even after their first meeting.

"I do. Two years ago, I was in love with the boy who is now my step-brother." he admitted, smiling sadly.

"What? Finn?" I'd only met Finn once, and whilst I could see that he was attractive, I didn't think that he would be Kurt's type at all.

"Finn. I was so hopelessly in love with him. It's funny now; thinking back on it. But he was straight, and I knew it. Didn't stop my feelings for him, though. It took a homophobic outbirst from him before I realised that he wasn't the one for me. That I'd made everything up in my head."

I didn't know where Kurt was going with this. It was kinda depressing me.

"So you're saying that I made everything up in my head, and that I should just get over him already?"

"No, no!" Kurt quickly assured me, "That's not where I was going with this! The opposite actually. The only way that anything can happen from now on, with you and Nick, is if you tell him how you feel. Because I saw the look he was giving you. That was _not _platonic. And what's the worse that can happen? He rejects you. Nick, unlike Finn, is not homophobic, and won't hate you for your feelings."

That made sense. It really did. But telling someone about your feelings is _so _much easier said than done.

"I know," Kurt agreed, when I voiced this opinion. "But you just gotta do it, you know?" He smiled at me sympathetically, patting my shoulder.

"We really have to get to practice. Come on."

"No. Tell them I'm ill." I decided, turning around and walking towards the rooms. I couldn't go to practice now. I had a _lot _to think about.

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**A/N: *waves* bonjour. Leave a review! x**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm baaaackk! *sings* **

**Yeah. **

**So, I wrote the final chapter of this today. I have nothing in between this and the last-est chapter, though. Well, at least I know how it ends. ;) **

**I don't own the song used. Unfortunatly. *sigh* It's my **_**favourite **_**and my **_**best. **_**And yeah, yeah, it wouldn't suit Curt's (Nick's) voice, but use your imagination, 'kay? **

**Nick is in **_**Bold Italics **_

**And backup is in **_Italics. _

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Thinking, I realised, was not only pointless, but incredibly depressing. I should have just gone to stupid Warbler rehersal.

The same thoughs keep floating through my mind, making me ache with longing.

Nick.

The look.

Nick.

The most frustrating thing is, I have no idea what to _do _about these thoughts. I'm in love with Nick, he _might _be in love with me, and duh duh duh duuuh, that's all I know. All I'll ever know if I can't just man up and do something about these feelings. Which isn't gonna happen any time soon, because I don't want to lose our friendship. It's an endless cycle of depression. Well, of complete confusion and not-having-the-faintest-idea-what-to-do-om.

The thoughts are spinning round my head like a freaking carosel, and I can't make them stop. Music. I need music.

Sighing, I remove myself from my position laying across the floor of my room and stand up, grabbing my blazer as I do so. I'll go to Warbler rehersal. Have a listen. Get inspired by music...

Ugh. I sound like _Blaine_!

Half way down the stairs, I run into another student, Kyle. He's not a Warbler, although he loves music, so he regularly hangs out outside the Warblers rehersals. From what I've heard from Wes, he has a pretty ordinary voice, which would be okay; he couldn't be the soloist but he could help with the harmonies, but apparantly, he can't harmonise. At all. Blaine and Kurt have offered him training, but he's refused on many occasions, claiming he's happy to just listen.

"Hey, man," He greets, smiling. I don't know him very well, not at all, really, but that's the great thing about Dalton. Everyone treats you as if you're friends. It's like there's no such thing as mere aquaintences. "Weren't you off sick today?" He questions, pausing on the staircase and leaning against the banister casually.

"Oh," I improvise; "Just a little cold. I won't be able to sing, but I'll have a listen." I put in a fake sneeze for effect. It seems to work; Kyle nods and grins.

"Well, hope you feel better soon, man."

"Thanks, Kyle."

He continues off up the stairs, and I make my way down, noticing as I do that music's playing. It's not the Warblers harmonising; it's one long note; a violin, maybe. It must be on a CD; we have a couple of instruments, but no violin.

_**"If there's a prize for rotten judgement," **_

The voice is coming from the Warbler rehersal room, obviously. It's not Blaine, I can hear that, but I'm not close enough to hear who it is. I recognise the song, but I have no idea where from.

_**"I guess I've already won that," **_

I'm drawing closer to the hall now; whoever's singing has an amazing voice that drew me in.

_**"No one is worth the aggravation," **_

Although I still can't place where I know the song, I sense the slight change in lyrics. It was probably a girl singing originally.

_**"That's ancient history, been there, done that!" **_

The singer becomes louder, and suddenly, I realise who it is. It's Nick. Three more voices join in, singing some sort of backing. I'm close enough to the hall now to recognise them instantly as Kurt, Wes and Blaine.

_"Who'd'ya think you're kidding, _

_She's the Earth and Heaven to you, _

_Try to keep it hidded, _

_We can see right through you," _

Nick holds a note, keeping it going, in perfect harmony to Klaine and Wes. I've reached the door of the Rehersal Hall, standing in the entrance.

_"Boy, you can't conceal it, _

_We know how you feel, _

_And who you're thinking of," _

Kurt caught my eye as he sung, winking.

_**"Oh oh woah oh," **_

Nick sung, keeping his eyes fixed straight ahead.

_"__**No chance, no way, **_

_**I won't say it, no, no" **_

Kurt, Blaine and Wes gather around Nick, singing directly to him,

_"You swoon, you sigh, _

_Why deny it, oh, oh," _

Kurt winks at me again, raising his eyebrows slightly. Slowly, I walk into the room, settling myself on one of the couches. No one even notices me; they're all to engrossed in Nick's performance.

_"__**It's to cliche, **_

_**I won't say I'm in love." **_

Finally, Nick looks away from the spot directly in front of him, catching the eyes of the rest of the Warblers. Eventually, his gaze meets mine. my heart flutters, and I duck my head flirtily, watching him through my eyelashes.

_**"I thought my heart had learned it's lesson, **_

_**It feels so good when you start out, **_

_**My head is screaming, get a grip, boy, **_

_**Unless you're dying to cry your heart out!**_

_**Oh!" **_

He's holding the note again, never wavering, perfect harmony.

_"You keep on denying, _

_Who you are and what you're feeling, _

_We're not buying; _

_We saw you hit the ceiling, _

_Face it like a grown up, _

_When you gonna own up _

_that you got, got, got it bad?" _

The boys ran to stand behind Nick, in a sort of triangle shape.

_"__**Woah, No chance, no way, **_

_**I won't say it, no, no," **_

_"Give up, give in," _

They sing together, then Kurt sings a line on his own;

_"Check the grin; you're in love!" _

Nick catches my eye again, holding my gaze. This time, I don't look away, I look right back at him, eyes shining.

_"__**This scene won't play, **_

_**I won't say I'm in love," **_

His eyes still haven't left mine, and suddenly, I feel nervous.

_"You're doing flips, _

_Read our lips, _

_You're in love," _

_"__**You're way off base, **_

_**I won't say it," **_

His eyes finally leave mine, searching the rest of the Warblers.

_**"Get off my case!**_

_**I won't say it,"**_

And his voice is _so _unbelievably sexy that I have to bite my lip and clasp my hands together to prevent myself from leaping up onto that impromptu stage and jumping him there and then.

_"Girl, don't be proud, _

_It's okay, you're in love," _

_**"At least out loud, **_

_**I won't say I'm in love," **_

The song ended to a burst of applause. I didn't realise how hard I was clapping until my hands started to hurt. Nick smiled a small, embarrassed smile.

"Thank you, guys," He murmured, his voice barely audiable above the noise. The boys jupmed down from the small raised platform that we called our 'stage' to high fives and hugs from the audience. Nick waded his way through congratulating Warblers; this was his first solo in front of the group, to stand next to me. His cheeks were flushed adorably from excitement, his hands still shaking from a mixture of nerves and adrenaline.

"Dude!" I greeted him, pulling him into a hug automatically, "That was awesome!" He blushed deeper, his smile growing.

"Thanks, man." It took a while for me to notice how close we were. Everyone was moving around us, jostling us to either get out of the hall, or congratulate Nick. And in the sea of blazer-clad Warblers, we'd been pushed together so that we were pressed against each other, almost awkwardly. Well, I didn't think it was awkward. Nick had been pushed into my back - I was extremely turned on. But Nick probably found it awkward.

"Hey, Nick, we're going out to celebrate your awesomeness!" David shouted, earning gleeful cries from anyone within earshot.

"What, all twenty of us?" Nick questioned, making his way up to David so he could hear better.

"Yeah, sure. Down to one of the resturants up the road. It's on me." He grinned.

"But- there are so many of us!"

"Don't worry. My aunt works in the Italian one. She'll give us some sorta deal," David smiled, his eyes lighting up. "You two in?"

"Uh, sure!" We both said together, earning more cheers from the over-excited teenagers.

"Cool," David said, nodding. "I'll come round to get you all at seven."

**A/N: Ah, not my best. It's almost entirely song lyrics. The next chapter will have some good stuff in. I think.**

**Credits go to the Disney song **_**I Won't Say (I'm in Love) **_**from Hercules. **

**Shameless Self-Promotion: If you want more Neff, go read some of my other fics involving/starring Neff, **_**Can't Do This,**__**Klaine's Facebook **_**and **_**So I Let My Walls Come Down. **_**After you've reviewed this, of course. **

**Review! **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: WOW! 40 reviews! I love you guys so much! *hugs you all* :D Onwards, sir Knight! **

**... I think I had too much sugar. **

0000

I had no idea why I'd agreed to go out with them all. I mean, the Warblers are insane. We were in the car, Nick, Kurt, Blaine, Cameron and I, with the others carpooling with either Wes or David. Blaine was driving, with Kurt sitting next to him in the passenger seat, shooting us hopeful glances over his shoulder every few seconds, as if he expected me to confess my feelings for Nick right there, sitting in the backseat of a Blaine's car, with Cameron pressing into my other side. And then Nick's talking fast, animating his monolouge with his hands, and to be honest, I have no idea what he's on about, but hey. Blaine joins in with the conversation, never taking his eyes off of the road, while Kurt makes small noises of agreement. It's one of those times, rare as they are, when I feel left out. Usually, me and Nick are joined at the hip, but I often forget that I'm not Nick's only friend, just like he's not mine. Me and Kurt have inside jokes, the same as he and Kurt do. I've realised by now, that I'm never going to understand the conversation. It's an anecdote, a story about something that happened, but I wasn't there. So I settle with just watching, ignoring the fact that Cameron is just as lost as I am. Nick's beautiful when he's excited, his eyes lighting up and shining like the stars, his hands animating everything he says in the most adorable way. He reaches to move a loose strand of hair from his forehead as the conversation ends, checking his reflection in the mirror. He's obviously noticed me watching, because he turns to me as the others laugh, smiling enthusiastically.

"So," he starts, his cheeks still flushed from laughing. "Did you see the football?"

"Of course," I reply, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. It probably is, to him. It's stupid really, how even at times like this, surrounded by people, cramped up in a car of all places, how hard it is to keep myself from leaning in and kissing Nick, or even just taking his hand. It's next to mine on the seat, brushing my leg occasionally whenever he moves, sending tingles up my spine. I hope he doesn't notice. I hate how much I love him. It's like a hole in my chest, that I know can never be filled. Kurt flicks on the stereo absently, he and Cameron starting a different discussion, neither of them being sports enthuseasts like Nick and Blaine are. I'm just joining in because I actually understand the conversation this time.

The journey isn't a long one; the resturant is only on the next block. Amazingly, we find a parking space relatively easily, all five of us trying to squease through the door of the small resturant at the same time. Wes, David and the others are already there; they, with the help of a pretty waitress, are pulling some of the tables together in order to make one big enough for the twenty of us who came along. Luckily the place is almost empty, but in the end, we decide that two tables of ten would probably be more managable. I'm next to Nick, as usual, with Kurt on my other side and Blaine next to him, Cameron, Wes, David and Trent oppisite us, and Thad and James on either end of the table. The waitress saunters up to our table, her hips swaying. She has a notepad in her hand. She's very pretty; pale, heart shaped face, glittering blue eyes and shiny, copper coloured hair. Every male eye in the room; sans Kurt, Blaine and Cameron, turn to stare at her. Yeah, she's beautiful, and she has a nice figure and stuff. Sure, I can see that. But the way these guys are _staring _at her...

"What can I get you to drink?" She asks politely. Her eyes sweep around the table, but I notice that they linger on Nick for a few seconds longer than anyone else. Nick's eyes are certainly lingering on her. In any other situation, I'd be embarrassed, but it's jealousy that flares through me, like a spear through my chest. He's looking at her like I wish that he'd look at me. I don't even care that it's lust, not love in his eyes, I just... ugh. My stomach twists with jealousy, making my eyes prickle. I look down quickly, hoping that no-one has noticed. I don't think anyone has. They're all staring at _her. _But she's still watching Nick. His tonge peeps out from his lips, licking them slowly, absently. She smirks a little, batting her eyes slowly. I look away again, my hands balling into fists. It's Kurt who breaks the silence, coughing loudly.

"I'll just have a water please. Blaine?"

"Just a water for me, too, please." The moment's broken, Nick's looked away, and the waitress seems to remember what she's actually there for.

"Oh, of course." She's blushing a little, scribbling on her pad. "And for you?"

"A Fanta for me, please," Nick says, his voice uncharactaristically strong. The rest of us order, and the waitress leaves, flashing a quick smile at Nick over her shoulder as she goes. The table is silent for a second, the atmosphere tense. And then

"She totally has a thing for you, man." Blaine announces, grinning. The Warblers laugh, Nick blushing. I laugh too, but it sounds forced, fake. I still can't make the feeling of pure jealousy go away.

0000

The waitress comes back a few minutes later, carrying a tray of drinks. She passes them out, her eyes flicking every now and again to Nick. Of course, Wes' eyes are on her chest; whenever she bends down to place a drink on the table, she... reveals a lot of cleavage. I try to ignore the fact that Nick's eyes seem to be looking in the same direction, fiddling with my napkin awkwardly. She serves me and Nick our drinks last, settling Nick his Fanta down on the table along with a napkin, just like everyone elses. But she's smirking, and I can see that the napkin isn't blank. Nick flushes, reading the writing on it before quickly shoving it in his pocket. I only see it for a second, but it's clear enough what it says.

_Call Me. _

_- Mia. _

It's followed by a collection of numbers. It doesn't take a genius to work out that it's her cell phone number. Nick grins, turning to me. I force a smile. If it looks fake, that's because it is.

"Dude," Wes mutters. "Score!"

0000

The rest of the meal passes quickly. By the end of it, I'm completely full. The combination of the delicious food and the warmth of the resturant has made me sleepy, and I sigh, leaning over to rest my head on Nick's shoulder. He smiles, resting his arm on the back of my chair. I firmly ignore Kurt's 'Wink wink, nudge, nudge'-ing, letting my eyes droop. The waitress, Mia, is collecting the plates. I glare at her, maybe a little too fiercely, because she retreats pretty quickly. I can't help the feeling of smug satisfaction that rises. Nick is _mine. _Well, he isn't. I wish he was. I shift a little closer to him on the couch-style seat, and his arm drops from the top of the seat to my shoulders. I know that my heart shouldn't be going _this _fast; we're only sitting together, after all, but what with the way the candles on the table are illuminating his face, and the dull hum of conversation in the background that neither of us are paying attention to, it feels like a movie. Only in a movie, I'd have the courage to just tilt my head the tiniest bit and kiss him.

The resturant's lights are dimmed, despite the fact that us Warblers are the only people in the place. I guess it's just what they do, just in case a couple does decide to come in and have a romantic evening. My eyes feel heavy, but all I can concentrate on is Nick's arm resting on my shoulders, and my body pressed against his, and my head on his shoulder. The candle light makes everything look prettier. If I wanted to, I could move my gaze from Nick's face, and I'd probably only see the silhouette of Trent sitting opposite me. But I'm not going to tear my gaze from Nick's face. He looks so beautiful, his eyes lit up, the rest of his profile half in shadow.

"Come on, guys. Time to go." David announces, taking his credit card back from Mia, having finished paying. I sigh as we all slide out of the booth-seat thing, removing my head from Nick's shoulder.

"Now," Wes starts, ushering us all out of the resturant. I shiver in the sudden breeze, shifting closer to Nick's warm body automatically, noticing him do the same. "Let's go party back at Dalton!"

00000

**Please don't shoot me.**

**So hi. It's been a while. Guess what? There's only a few chapters left, guys! This one, and maybe three more? I can't be sure, but there's not many. And I actually know the direction that this is going in. Which is good. **

**So. Review target is 50, I'll update when we get there. Sorry that I have to do this; it sounds really selfish to say that I'll only update when I get enough reviews, but I need to be sure that people are reading and enjoying, and getting your suggestions for improvement, and also it gives me enough time to write that the updates aren't rushed, but you'll know when to expect them. So it's kinda a win-win. I think. :/ **

**Review! **

**- Agent 3 xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey! I'm back! Thank you again for your lovely reviews, I love you all to pieces. Now for some Warbler-PARTAYing. ;) **

**Warning****: Strong Language, Sex references, the usual. **

0000

I'm not sure that a 'Warbler Party' is the best idea. I'm exhausted, and I have an ever-growing pile of homework that I really need to get on with. But Wes is insisting that I come, and really, I can't be bothered to argue. A couple of us, me included, are trying to pursuade David to _leave_ the alcohol. He's convinced that a party isn't a party without drink, but I'm not in the mood to get drunk, and I don't see how anyone else is, really. But it seems like they are, because Blaine's stopping off at the small shop on the corner, and Kurt's striding in, trying to look confident.

"What if they ask for ID?" Blaine's worrying, his teeth grazing his lower lip nervously.

"They won't," Nick assures him, smiling. "It's dark, and Kurt's the oldest here. He could pass for twenty-one, easy."

"You're kidding, right?" Cameron asks, raising his eyebrows. "Kurt has a baby face. It's adorable." Blaine turns around, glaring at him dangerously. Nick and I laugh, and I elbow Cameron, grinning. "Don't tease him, Cam. Blaine's gonna shoot someone." It's no secret that Cameron has a thing for Kurt, and it's also no secret that Blaine definitely does not like this. Blaine's still worrying about Kurt, going through all the worst case scenarios;

"What if they ask for ID, and when they find out Kurt's only seventeen, they call the cops?" I roll my eyes, knowing that Nick's doing the same thing beside me. Finally, after what Blaine insists feels like hours, Kurt's sauntering out of the shop, gripping four bulging carrier bags. Wes is right behind him, and Thad taking the rear, their arms laden with assorted alcoholic beverages. The brunette teen is smirking as he throws open the passenger door, dumping the carrier bags in the space in front of him and strapping himself into the seat. "How'd it go?" Blaine asks, the tension leaving his face noticably as Kurt grips his hand reasuringly.

"Fine," Kurt smiles, letting go of Blaine's hand so that he can steer the car, "It was completely fine. They didn't want any ID, we just grabbed what we wanted, paid and left." Blaine nods, smiling a little.

"Good, good."  
>"Blaine was panicking," Cameron smirks, reaching over to pat Blaine's shoulder in mock comfort. Blaine scowls as the rest of us laugh. I love how easy it is, all of us laughing together, how no-one cares that three of the five of us in the car are out gay men, how the other two are leaning on each other, Nick's head on my shoulder, our sides pressed together. It's so different from middle school, or Kurt's old school. It hits me sometimes, at random times like this, how much I love my friends. Not in the same way that I love Nick, but how much they mean to me.<p>

Dalton is only a few blocks away from the shop, so it only takes five minutes before we're pulling in to a space in the huge parking lot. Wes' car is already there, but I can't see David's, we assume he must have been behind us. "So," Cameron starts, climbing out of the car and taking one of the bags from Kurt, who thanks him, smiling and blushing, "Where are we gonna have this party?" Wes, Thad, Trent, Jon and Alex wander over, leaning on Blaine's car.  
>"In the Warbler Block commons, duh." Wes states, handing me some of the bottles he's holding, noticing that I'm not carrying anything yet, ignoring my protests. We make our way to the Warbler Block, David and the others catching up with us about half way there. I seriously have no idea how the Warblers managed to get themselves an entire block, just for us. I guess Wes is just very pursuasive. David is talking with James pretty loudly, we have to 'shush' him quickly. Although Curfew is at eleven on Friday nights, we don't want to draw any more attention to ourselves than necessary. It's only nine thirty, but we don't need anyone to come and get us to be quiet. Then we'd be busted, with our arms laden with alcohol. The Warbler Block is on the other end of the school to the parking lot, and we really don't want to get caught.<p>

The grounds are unusually quiet. It's that time when people are either out, or in their rooms. No-one's wandering the grounds; it's dark, and the air has a bite to it that makes walking unpleasant. I shift closer to Nick automatically, trying to warm myself up. He shivers, pressing his side against mine. I'm holding the bottles in my right hand, and he has the bag in his left, meaning there's no space between us at all. He's warm, and I tell him so. He smiles. My hands are cold, and I tell him this, too.

"Same," He mutters, shifting his hand so that it's touching mine. Suddenly, I'm immensely grateful that it's dark. I can feel my face burning up. I know what he's silently asking, his fingers lightly ghosting my hand. And I want it too, more than anything. But for different reasons. He's just cold. I just love him. Carefully, I move my hand, intertwining them between us, trying to ignore my heart's frantic beating. "Thanks," He breathes, gripping my hand tightly. "Your hand's warm." My entire body's warm. I don't think that I know what cold is anymore. Because Nick is holding my hand.

We're at the Warbler Block before I know it. Wes is holding open the door for us all, and he smirks, raising his eyebrows suggestivly when he notices our linked hands. Nick drops my hand as soon as we're in the warm room, and dissapointment seeps through me. I resist the urge to sigh like a twelve year old girl, instead helping Nick and Wes find plastic cups from the tiny kitchen area in our Dorm Block. The music starts while we're searching, the beat making the walls throb. When we get back in the common room, the party is already in full swing.

0000

I haven't had much to drink. Only a beer. Neither has Nick, but we're the only ones. Cameron is hammered. He's dancing with Kurt, while Blaine sulks in a corner. I can see why he's sulking. Cameron is really flirting, and Kurt isn't exactly discouraging him. Wes is in the corner, doing some form of strange dance with his gavel. David is throwing dollars at him. Nick's standing next to me, cracking open his second beer with a smile in my direction. We're quiet. It's one of the very few times in which the others are louder than us.

"Hey!" Trent shouts over the pulsating music, his voice slurred, "Let's play truth or dare!" I roll my eyes silently. Because seriously, could you get more cliche? Nick agrees with me, but no-one else seems to, because they've all formed a circle, and are waving Nick and I over. We sit reluctantly, crossing our legs identically.

"Wesssss," David slurs, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare!" Wes shouts, standing up and pumping his fist in the air, as if he'd just achieved something great.

"Do a strip tease on Trent!" Blaine shouts, before collapsing into a fit of giggles on Kurt's shoulder. We watch awkwardly as Wes obliges, before sitting back down in the circle, grinning widly. "Your turn, Kurtie!" Blaine shouts again, stroking the side of his boyfriend's face continuously.

"Kiss Cameron!" Cameron shouts. His outburst is met with cries of "_Yeah!_ from all over the circle, admittedly joined by me. Kurt leans across the circle, and Cameron kisses Kurt hard, cupping his face. Kurt moves closer, so that he's almost sitting on the redhead's lap, resting his hands on Cameron's waist. Cameron's resulting moan is muffled by Kurt's mouth, and Blaine's cry of _"Mine!" _as he crawls across the circle and pulls Kurt from an amazed looking Cameron's lap. Kurt just shrugs, wriggling back to his seat and climbing onto Blaine's lap instead. Nick is giggling next to me, trying to muffle the sound with his sleeve. I turn and grin at him, meeting his sparkling eyes.

"Blaine," Kurt grins, "Truth or dare?" I notice that it's going in no real order; people are being picked randomly.

"Truth," Blaine murmurs, hiding his face behind Kurt.

"BORING!" Wes calls out, earning several giggles from around the circle. I don't hear what Blaine's question is, nor what his answer is. It was something boring, judging by the lack of any more response from the over excited Warblers.

"Nicky!" Thad calls, grinning widely at Nick. "Nicky, Nicky, Nicky, you have to kiss _Jeff._"

Someone gasps. I think it was me.

Why has the world stood still?

Why is my heart beating so fast?

Why do I feel so damn _pleased_?

Oh yeah. Because I'm in love with Nick.

Nick smiles a little, seemingly biting the inside of his mouth in thought. Then-

"No." My heart sinks. Not sinks. It _plummets. _Like a fucking apple falling from a tree.

"Nickyyy! You have tooooo!" Trent whines, drawing out every word.

"No I don't, man. Jeff's my best friend. I'm not gonna kiss him." My eyes are prickling. Like little needles are stabbing them. Fuck this. Fuck everybody.

"So?" Wes shouts out boldly. "It's a dare. He has to."

"No, I'm really not comfortable with that. I'm going to go." And with that, Nick stands up and leaves, closing the door behind him. I hear him climbing the stairs.

The world has stopped.

"What a buzzkill, man." I'm not sure who said it. I don't really care. My head is throbbing, but my heart hurts more. I don't even care that I sound like a teenage girl. I'm being ripped apart, torn to pieces. I need to drown out my sorrows.

"Someone... Pass me a drink."

00000

***waves* **

***Hides from the wrath of you lot* ;) **

**Hii. **

**Review target is 70. That's all I'm gonna say, because my Niff creys are breaking my heart. Those boys... :L **

**Review! **

**- Agent 3 xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello again, my lovely, lovely readers. You're so kind to me! I love you all way too much. To the anon reviewer who asked if she could review 70 times... let me love you. That made me grin like a freaking idiot. I'm serious. And CheekyBrunette, I love you, too. You make me cry with happiness. You all do. I love you all. Did I mention that before? I think I might have. Oh, I lied about how many chapters there were remaining. Still loads to come, me thinks. Oh, and bear in mind when you read this that I've never been drunk before. I'm only 14. So I'm basing it off of other things I've read. Don't laugh at me! :D Anyway, enough of my rambling, on with the show! *opens curtains dramatically* **

**Warnings: ****Strong Language, sex references, the usual.**

0000

My head hurts. It's throbbing like a fucking heart. My limbs feel heavy. My mind's a blur. I have no idea where I am; I haven't opened my eyes, and to be honest, I'm not planning on it. My eyelids feel like lead. There's something heavy. It's a heavy weight on my chest. I can feel it, laying there, sprawled across my body. I'm lying on what I'm assuming is the floor, but it feels way less comfortable than it did last night.

Last night.

It's all weird, like trying to look through fog or muddy water. It's all blurred round the edges, and most of the middle, too. I groan, shifting a little. It's only when my back is prickled by the carpet that I realise I'm shirtless. That's weird. I don't remember taking it off. But then, I don't really remember much about last night. My head's pounding, and I know that I should really get some water, some pain killers, but I still can't be bothered to open my eyes. And then the thing laying across my stomach, which up until this point I really hadn't been paying any attention to, moves. And I realise it's a person.

_Nick. _

No. It's not Nick. Of course it's not. He went away. That much, I can remember. I think the shock of realising that there's a person lying across my chest was what made me open my eyes.

Shit.

Shit and fuck and shit and more fuck.

The memories are returning.

Fuck.

What did I _do_?

Oh shit.

I can't think. I can hardly breathe.

I don't really understand it. It was Nick, only Nick...

I'm not supposed to be attracted to guys. Only Nick. He was the exception.

But fuck.

This is _wrong. _

I really don't know what happened. It's still a blur. But Cameron's laying across my chest, also shirtless.

And I remember enough to know that fuck, it's not a platonic 'fell asleep next to me'.

My head hurts even more. Like a weight's been placed over my eyes. Suddenly, I have the urge to be sick. Shoving Cameron off of my chest, I run to the bathroom, vomiting noisily into the toilet bowl. It tastes like vodka.

I groan, leaning against the cold tiles. The cool white calms my head a little, sooths the throbbing. I try to rewind my mind, remember exactly what happened. I probably don't want to know. But I need to.

I remember Nick leaving, and feeling like someone had punched a hole in my chest.

I remember taking shots to ease the pain, calling out dares along with everyone else as the alcohol infected my brain.

I remember singing _'Last Friday Night' _with Kurt and Blaine on Wes' karaoke machine.

I don't remember the beginning of the game at all. I remember something spinning, and it hurting my eyes. The bottle, I assume.

I remember the feeling. Fun. Joyous. Like it was the best I'd ever felt. All sadness had been lifted from my shoulders. I guess, looking back, that I was - am - a happy drunk. Everything was so funny.

And I remember my turn. It landed on someone, Cameron.

In the beginning, I felt detached; it was a game, a silly game, and everyone had already made out with everyone else. There were no feelings, just part of a game. I was kissing him, but _I _wasn't kissing him. My lips were moving of their own accord, a natural reaction to being kissed, but my brain was elsewhere. And then he deepened the kiss. It's a blur, still, what happened next. But for the first time, I realised it felt _good. _

Sure, I've kissed people before. I've had a few girlfriends, and I've done, you know, stuff. I'm not a virgin. And that all felt good, believe me, it did. But this, this was something different. Whether it was due to the fact that Cameron's a guy, or my intoxicated state, I don't know. But I don't know. It stopped feeling like a game. This was my first kiss with a guy. And I _wanted _it.

It didn't progress any further than kissing. At least, I don't think it did. Honestly, I can't remember anything after that, or many things before it. To be honest, I'm glad. I don't really want to know.

I'm crying. I didn't notice. But the tears are leaking down, leaving their thin, wet pathways down my face, dripping off my chin pathetically. I take in a breath, and it comes out louder than intended, more like a sob. I must look so pathetic, sitting on the Warbler Block bathroom floor, leaning against a tiled wall, tears raining from my eyes.

"Jeff?" It's Nick's voice. He pushes open the door without nocking, knowing I won't have locked it. I do my best to hide my face, wiping the wetness from my cheeks so that he won't see my tears. I'm humiliated. "Oh, Jeff."

He's kneeling at my side, his expression caring, sympathetic. I know I must look like shit, but here he is, wrapping his arms around me, holding me to his chest, stroking my hair comfortingly. I sob harder, clinging to him like he's a lifeline. He stays with me, holding me close, never letting go of me. Eventually, when my tears are all run out, he gets me a glass of water, returning straight away to sit at my side. We sit in silence for a while. I drink the water.

"What happened?" I knew he'd ask eventually, want to know why I was in this state. But I can't tell him. How do you tell your best friend, who you happen to be in love with, that you're crying because you'd just kissed a guy who wasn't him? You don't, that's the answer.

"Headache," I murmur, turning my face away again. Of course, he doesn't believe me.

"Jeff, you know you can tell me anything, right?" He moves slightly so that he's facing me, taking my hands gently in his. I ignore the way my hands seem to tingle with excitement. Now's not the time to be in love.

"I can't tell you," I admit, sighing.

"Jeff." I don't know why he's saying my name. My head's throbbing again, and my eyes prickling. I can't think straight.

"Nick, I just need to sleep."

He sighs, nodding slowly.

"I know." Standing up, he holds out a hand for me to take so he can help me up. "You go up to your room. I'll bring you some pain killers and some more water in a second."

"Thank you." _for everything. _I love him more than I should. Even standing here, my head throbbing, my eyes leaking and my heart aching, I love him. Even standing here, with a killer hangover, looking like shit, I wish he'd wipe away my tears and kiss me slowly, softly. Even with the world spinning around me due to my quick movement, I want him to wrap his arms around me, say that he loves me. But he doesn't, of course he doesn't.

"No problem. See you in a minute."

00000

**A/N: ... **

***hides again* **

**I'm so sorry! **

**... I love you? **

**... My boys. **

**... Sorry. **

**... Am I forgiven? **

**... Anywhoo, review target is 100. That's 28 more reviews. Wow. Let's do it! **

**... That sounded more dirty than it was intended to. **

**Bye! **

**- Agent 3 xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry about Re-uploading this, my computer was being a bitch and not letting me view it and stuff... 

**A/N: Hello, you lovely, lovely people. I'm baaaack! Have you seen the Struck By Lightning trailer? Shit, Chris looks hot. I'm so excited! :D **

**Oh, I changed the genres to friendship/angst.**

**Song credits are at the bottom . **_Kurt singing, __**Blaine singing, **__Nick singing, __**Jeff Singing, **_

_**And if it's centred and looks like this, It's all four of them.**_

0000

I think I fell asleep again, because next thing I know, I'm waking up. At least, I think I am. It's hard to tell, with the dull ache of my head consuming most of my mind. But Nick's there, and I don't remember him coming in.

"Hey," He breathes, his voice low. He's being careful to meke sure he's quiet, and that he doesn't make any sudden movements, and I'm grateful. I also notice he's dimmed the lights. He's simply amazing.

"Hi," I say back, my voice making me wince. It's louder than I expected.

"Water?"

"Please." My throat's dry, parched, and I soothe it with the water Nick's offering me, downing it in one gulp I also take the box of painkillers from his hand and take two in order to calm my headache. "Thanks."

There's silence. It's awkward, I can practically feel the tension. It shouldn't be awkward, and I can't work out why it is. "Um..." He looks down, avoiding my eyes. "Thad told me what happened."

Of course he did.

"I'm not gay." I don't know why it's the first thing I say, why it's the most important thing to say. Probably because it's a lie.

"I never said you were." He replies simply, shrugging a shoulder.

"You were judging me."

"No I wasn't. You were drunk. And even if you were gay, you know I wouldn't judge you, wouldn't care." I can't help but smile at this. I want so badly to reach out and hug him. It sounds cheesy, but it quite literally felt like my heart was swelling.

It would be so easy now, I think, to tell him. Tell him that yes, I am gay, or at least bisexual. I wouldn't have to tell him that I'm madly in love with him. I'm not ready for that yet. It would be so easy, all it would take would be a little courage...

Courage that I don't have.

"I know," I mutter instead, forcing a smile. I hope it doesn't look dissapointed. Because I'm not, not at him. It's me I'm dissapointed at. I'm a coward.

"Want to tell me what happened?" He asks, sitting next to me on my bed.

"You know what happened." I point out, shifting over slowly so that there's more space for him. My headache's reciding now, slowly moving away, like the tide going out on a beach.

"But I want to hear it from you." Nick insists, his eyes open and friendly. I should probably explain, tell him what happened. But I don't want to. I don't want him to know the details.

"But I don't want to tell it," I say, angrier than I intended. It comes out sharp, almost cutting. It definitely wasn't meant to. "Sorry," I add quickly, noting the hurt in his eyes, and the way he seems to be subconsiously shifting away from me.

"It's okay," He mutters, not looking at me in the eye, "I shouldn't have pushed the subject. Sorry," He's speaking formally, like someone out of a story. Life's not a story. Life doesn't have happy endings, not usually. I tell myself this every time I build my hopes up, every time I trick myself into thinking he's in love with me. This isn't a fairy tale. Life doesn't happen the way you want it to.

If this was a disney movie, first of all, I'd be a girl. It's a princess and her prince. You never see a story about a prince and his prince. Second of all, I wouldn't have drunkenly made out with Cameron. Definitely not that part. And third of all, Nick would love me, too.

00000

My headache's mostly gone now, thanks to the painkillers. Nick's gone, too, but that's probably a good thing, because now I can think.

There are times, when I forget that Nick and I aren't actually together. I imagine things, and forget that however hard I try, they're never going to happen. Like when I decided what I was going to get Nick for his birthday, and suddenly, I was imagining me giving it to him. That's not weird; I have a vivid imagination. But it was so clear in my mind, and we were _together. _I was round at his house, because his birthday is during the Easter break. It was just us, and his parents. His party was over, but I'd stayed overnight. He was sitting in the armchair in his living room, and I was in the other one. His parents were sat on the sofa between the armchairs. And I moved to his chair to give him the gift, wrapped in blue paper with a little bow, and he took it. He smiled and opened it, grinning at the contents. He'd thanked me quietly, standing up to peck my lips, quick and light because although his parents were okay with us, we didn't want to push it.

It was a strange daydream, because usually when I dream about _us, _we're kissing properly. It's focused on finally kissing him. And it's usually a first kiss. But this, this was sweet in a different way, and I didn't understand it.

Longing is something that's hard to cope with. Sometimes, it's easy to push out of my mind. For example, I can usually just about push away the idea of kissing Nick when we're hanging out, because I know what the consequences will be. One lost friend - check. But it's the smaller things that I can't ignore. The longing to take his hand, or to rest my head on his shoulder, or even to just catch his eye. It's a strange feeling, one that's impossible to describe other than a tether, like I'm connected to him by a ribbon, and he's pulling me along.

00000

"Jeff!" I can't help the thrill that goes up my spine at the way he calls my name. He's wading through the croud, though his eyes look brighter than usual, and there's a distinctive spring in his step.

"Hey, Nick," I smile back, leaning casually against the wall, waiting for him to catch me up. He makes his way through the sea of blazer clad students, joining me at the wall.

"You're up," He remarks, nodding his approval. It took me longer than it should have to get over my hangover. I don't take alcohol very well. According to Wes, I'm a lightweight. I probably am.

"Of course I'm up. It's Monday. I can't stay in bed for three days, just because I had a few too many shots on Friday night," I point out, joining the croud of Dalton pupils all heading off to their classes, watching Nick fall in to step next to me, still skipping a little, and smiling wider than I thought humanly possible.

"Hmm, good point," He nods, still smiling and not looking at me properly, just gazing into space.

"Someone's in a good mood," I add, nodding at him. He only smiles wider, though he tries to look confused. Tries and fails.

"Really?" He feigns confusion. I laugh a little, bacause it's impossible not to. His smile is so wide it's almost scary, and his eyes are sparkling with happiness. I push away the thought that maybe it has something to do with me.

"Tell me what happened," I demand, smiling a little myself. Happiness is catching.

"Well," He starts, all original denial vanished, "I called Mia."

"Mia?" I question, not quite sure who he's talking about. He rolls his eyes, exasparated.

"Mia! As in the waitress...?"

"Oh! Her!" All hope dissapears. I was sure I hadn't built my hopes up, but when they tumbled down to the ground, I realised I had.

"Yeah!" He goes on, his voice getting higher and higher in his excitement. "And we have a date on Wednesday!"

"Oh." My heart's sinking. I try to feign excitement. For Nick. I need to be happy for him. "Great!" I exclaim, maybe a little too loudly. It sounds so fake, and I know Nick can tell that it is too, but he ignores it.

"I know, right! I'm so excited..."

"I'm happy for you, man." I say simply, trying to hide the bitterness in my voice and the tears in my eyes, "I really am."

0000

Nick's so excited it hurts. He's bouncing around like Draco Malfoy the Ferret. It's insane. He's only met her once. He's acting like he's in love or something. It's breaking me.

It's Warbler rehersal, and we're trying to decide on a song for Regionals. Random Warblers are shouting out suggestions, and Wes is furiously scribbling, trying to write them all down.

"Wes?" It's Kurt, raising his hand and standing up. "Me and Blaine have a song we'd like to perform to you all. Feel free to join in if you know the song," He announces, looking directly at Nick and I, smiling a little, before sweeping his eyes around the room.

"Of course," Wes nods, gesturing for the boys to take the floor. They do, hands linked.

"This is _What Makes You Beautiful _by the One Direction."

"One Direction? David questions, eyebrows raised."

"They were on the English XFactor. I don't usually listen to their music, but this song is special." There are a couple of nods, and Trent actually begins to start the backing harmony notes. He's instantly joined by me and Nick, and then the rest of us are joining in, half of us singing the guitar notes, the other half doing the drum beats. Kurt grins, starting the melody.

"_You're insecure,_

_Don't know what for._

_You're turning heads,_

_When you walk through the door_"

Blaine took the next part, smiling softly.

"_**Don't need make up**_

_**To cover up**_

_**Being the way that you are is enough" **_

Nick stands up, surprising everybody.

_"Everyone else in the room can see it_

_Everyone else but you" _

He joins the boys in the centre, earning a small smile from Kurt. All three of them sing on the chorus, their voices fitting together perfectly.

_**"Baby you light up my world like nobody else**_

_**The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed**_

_**But when you smile at the ground it aint hard to tell**_

_**You don't know**_

_**Oh Oh**_

_**You don't know you're beautiful"**_

Kurt took the next few lines of the chorus, singing directly to Blaine,

"_If only you saw what I can see_

_You'll understand why I want you so desperately" _

_**"Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,**_

_**You don't know oh oh"**_

_**"You don't know you're beautiful," **_

They sung together, grinning.

_"That what makes you beautiful," _

Nick added, walking directly forewards to me, beckoning for me to join him.

_**"So c-come on**_

_**You got it wrong**_

_**To prove I'm right I put it in a song**_

_**I don't know why**_

_**You're being shy**_

_**And turn away when I look into your eyes" **_

I sing, standing up and joining the boys in the centre of the floor. Kurt grins, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

_"Everyone else in the room can see it_

_Everyone else but you" _

_**"Baby you light up my world like nobody else**_

_**The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed**_

_**But when you smile at the ground it aint hard to tell**_

_**You don't know**_

_**Oh Oh**_

_**You don't know you're beautiful"**_

Many of the Warblers are standing up now, still singing the harmonies, clapping along. We're all in the centre, Our arms wrapped around each other's shoulders, singing and grinning and laughing and just having the best time.

_**"If only you saw what I can see**_

_**You'll understand why I want you so desperately**_

_**Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe**_

_**You don't know**_

_**Oh oh**_

_**You don't know you're beautiful**_

_**Oh oh**_

_**That's what makes you beautiful"**_

The song ends, and everyone's clapping and cheering, and Kurt and Blaine are kissing, and me and Nick are just standing there, smiling at each other, faces flushed from the singing. Nick moves closer, and I sense my moment; all I have to do is kiss him. Our eyes are locked together. I move closer, leaning in slightly. All I have to do is kiss him. That's all I have to do.

"Nice work, dude," He cheers, pulling me in for a hug. The moment's shattered. I don't think he even realised that to me, it was a moment.

0000

**A/N: Now we're just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And believe me, the forecast is cloudy with a chance of shoes. **

**The song was What Makes You Beautiful by One Direction, listen to it if you haven't. I don't usually listen to their music, or even watch the XFactor, but this song is so catchy! And One Direction are massive over here. I don't know what they're like in America, or if you've even heard of them, but hey. **

**Raview target is 125!**

**Oh. There are only two more chapters after this. We're nearly there! **

**Review! **

**- Agent 3 xxx**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: The final chapter is complete-o. All the editing is done. Now this is just build up to that. If you follow me on Tumblr ( Sweet-Porcelain16 . tumblr . com ) Then you got a lovely preview of this before it came out officially :) If you want chapter previews, random drabbles, or to just come and have a chat, I'd love it if you came and followed me! I always follow back, and I'd love to chat to you guys! **

**Also, In the text conversation, **_Italics _**is Nick, **_**Bold Italics **_**is Jeff, and **normal **is Jeff's thoughts :) **

**Boingy boingy boingy bing, we'll get these rocks to sing! **

**Yes. That was Dora the Explorer. Shame on you if you didn't know that. ;)**

**- Agent 3 xxx**

0000000

Nick wakes me up on Tuesday morning, practically dragging me out of bed, before turning around and making his way back to his own room without a word. I roll my eyes. He must have somehow known that I didn't want to get up today.

I get ready quickly, showering and shaving in record time, finding the clean shirts I washed yesterday hanging in my wardrobe. My blazer is actually hanging on the coat pegs by my door, and my shoes are on the small rack underneath it. I'd tidied my room for the first time in weeks last night, just to take my mind off things. Nick's waiting for me when I leave my room, leaning against the wall next to my door, two mugs of coffee in his hands.

"Hey!" He greets, handing me a coffee; my usual non-fat order, and falling into step beside me.

"What's this about?" I ask, gesturing to the coffee he's brought me. Sometimes, on a Saturday, he'll come and wake me up at eleven with a coffee and a bagel or croissant with jam, and we'll eat in my bed, often watching sport, sometimes playing video games, or sometimes just chatting, ignoring the crumbs that will have to be hoovered off later. But today's a Tuesday, and we have lessons in an hour.

"The cafeteria was filling up pretty fast," He says, turning in the direction of the hall where we're supposed to eat. Everyone ignores the _'No food outside of the cafeteria' _signs. "So I grabbed us some coffees to drink while we queue," There's always a queue outside the cafeteria, especially at this time when everyone's in a rush to eat before they go to lessons. We chat about nothing as the queue shortens until we finally reach the breakfast buffet. I grab a bagel and some juice, moving away to find a table. Kurt, Blaine and Trent are seated at one of the tables already, and we move to join them.

"Hey," Kurt sighs, stirring his cereal unneccesarrily.

"What's up?" I ask him, putting my tray onto the table and sliding round on the booth. He looks up from his breakfast, his eyes drooping.

"I'm tireeeed," I moans, falling forwards onto his elbows. "I don't want to get up!" Blaine rolls his eyes, but strokes his boyfriend's hair soothingly. "And I feel like crap," Kurt adds, sniffing.

"You've got a cold, Baby. You'll be fine." Blaine sighs. It's obvious that this isn't the first time he's reassured Kurt.

"But I _never _get ill! And my head's all sore, and my ears feel weird, and I want to go to _sleep_!" Blaine sighs again, pulling Kurt up by the hand.

"I'll take you back to bed," He mutters. The pair walk off slowly, Kurt still sniffing most of the way.

"Poor Kurt," Trent murmurs, starting on his pancake.

"It's just a cold," Nick shrugs, but his face is sympathetic.

"Anyway," Trent grins, excitement making his eyes sparkle, "What's going on with Mia, Nick?"

"Oh," Nick starts, his expression mirroring Trent's excitement, "We're going on a date tomorrow!"

"No. Way! You called her?"

"I did!" Nick's almost laughing, his mouth seeming unable to stop the grin. "I just called her up on Sunday night!"

"What did she say?" Trent asks, dead interested. For a gay guy, Trent really likes to matchmake in straight relationships. I don't get it, personally. I sigh. Jealousy is making me feel ill again. I hate the way his eyes light up when he talks about her. He's met her once. For some reason, this makes me angry. I can feel the tell tale signs, the way my fists are clenching and unclentching, the thoughts turning in my mind like a washing machine. And I know that at once, I have to go.

"I need to go." I say, standing up quickly. "Bathroom," I add, noticing the looks of confusion flashed at me.

See, here's the thing. I have a problem with anger. Not a _problem _problem, but when I get angry, it's not pretty. I can't stop it. It bubbles over the surface like boiling water, and I shout everything that I feel. There's no stopping me once I've started, you just have to wait for me to run out of steam. Right now, I can feel the bubbles rising. And I can't get angry in front of Nick. Not now, when there's so much to hide. Not now, when there's so much to lose.

_Deep breaths, Jeff. _

Finally, I'm in my room. I slam the door and lock it, falling against the wooden frame, sinking down to the floor. My head's throbbing, but I think I'll be okay. I left in time. I'm not going to shout at anyone today.

00000

One new message: Your Supermegafoxyawesomehot Best Friend

_Hey, man. Are you okay? You've been gone ages - 3 xxx_

_**I'm fine :) I just left my cell in my room. I had to run and get it quickly :) Also, really, Nick? 'Supermegefoxyawesomehot Best Friend'? - 6 xxx**_

_Oh, okay :) See you in Calc? And yup. I am pretty smfah ;) - 3 xxx_

_**Yeah, I might be a little bit late :/ Can you tell Mrs. Whateverhernameis that I'll only be five minutes? I can't remember where I put it... And phhht, definitely... - 6 xxx**_

_Will do. I'll save you a seat :) and aha, didn't deny it... ;) - 3 xxx_

Can you see why I get confused? We are clearly flirting. But no, not according to him.

_**Cheers. And I was being sarcastic. :) - 6 xxx**_

... No I wasn't.

_Hurry upppppppp! I'm so boreeeeed! Also, no you weren't, you just love me ;) - 3 xxx_

You don't know how right you are.

_**Sorry! I'm on my way. - 6 xxx**_

_Good. See you in a few. - 3 xxx_

_**Yeah :) - 6 xxx**_

_Wait... If you left your cell in your room, then how are you texting me? - 3 xx_

Oh. Shit. Busted.

_**My... Other cell? - 6 xxx**_

_You don't have another cell, Jeff. _

No ' _- 3 ' _sign off at the end. No 'xxx'. He's pissed.

00000

"But why did you lie to me? Why didn't you just tell me that you were pissed?"

"Because I didn't want you to know."

"Why? And why were you pissed in the first place?" So many questions that I don't want to answer.

We're walking down the corridor, making our way from Calc to English Lit, pushing our way through the croud.

"Because I didn't want you to feel bad," I admit, just as we reach our classroom. We have assigned seats in this class; me and Nick sit opposite sides of the room. I leave him quickly, glad to be free of the questioning, leaving him to ponder over what I said.

The lesson is slow. It drags on and on. Nick keeps looking over at me, confusion clear on his face. I try to avoid catching his eye, to stay annoyed at him, but it's not working. At all. Every time he looks at me, I look back, and our eyes meet. He raises his eyebrows at me, as if to say _'Explain.' _and I shake my head, a clear no. It's getting repetetive. But he knows as well as I do that I'm not going to tell him. Still he tries. It's kinda cute, actually.

_What happened? - 3 xxx_

_**Nothing. Stop worrying. - 6 xxx**_

He doesn't reply to that text. Whether it's because the teacher's watching him, or just that he doesn't want to, I don't know. At least he's signed off with his agent name and x's again. At least he's not mad anymore.

0000

**A/N: Short, and not my best. At all. I'm sorry. I'm ill, you can't blame me! Well, you can, but... ;)**

**Review target is 145. The next chapter is the final chapter. If you want a preview, probably tonight (for me, so two-ish if you're in America), then follow me on Tumblr. My url is the same as my Penname, Sweet-Porcelain16 . tumblr . com , so go follow for previews and drabbles and random chats! :) **

**See you in the final chapter, lovelies! **

**- Agent 3 xxx**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I spent a long time planning what to write in this final Author's Note, and I had it all planned out in my head. But it didn't sound right, nothing did. So I'm just going along with this. **

**This is the end! I'm so sorry. Song credits: The song used is **_**Rule the World **_**by Take That.**

**Massive thank you's to all of you readers; I love you all. Also to my lovely best friend klainelovesredvines, who helped a **_**lot, **_**especially for this chapter. **

**All of you readers, you all mean the world to me. Thank you so much. An extra massive thank you to everyone who's reviewed, favourited or alerted this fic, you were my insparation to keep going, keep writing. For those of you who were here at the story's beginning, and have stuck with me until the very end, I love you, and I thank you for sticking with me. Even you silent readers, I love you too, and thank you for reading, and hope you enjoyed. **

**This is the first chapter story that I'll ever have finished, so thank you for all of the support. I can't tell you enough how much I love you all. **

**I'm not going to ask you to review this chapter. I'd love it if you did, but I'll understand if you don't want to. I know the response I get from this chapter won't be all positive, and I'm ready for that. If you have any questions that you'd like answered, send them to my Tumblr, or ask them in a review, I'm going to reply to as many of these reviews as I can. I am thinking about an epilogue, so if you'd like one after this, let me know. **

**I'm going to give you a huge ****Angst Warning**** right now, if lots of angst isn't your thing, then... Sorry. **

**I wrote this, and I cried like a freaking baby. I'm sorry. This is the end. **

**Goodbye until my next fic, **

**- Agent 3 xxx**

0000

"Jeff?" Nick's voice wakes me, slowly. He's leaning over me, one hand resting on my shoulder. "Jeff, you have to come and see this." I sit up blearily, still half asleep. Nick's face shifts in and out of focus as I rub my eyes, trying to clear them.

"See what?" I groan, glancing at my alarm clock on my bedside table. 2:28 am. No wonder I'm tired. Nick ignores my question, handing me my Dalton hoodie and a pair of thick socks. I really can't be bothered to get out of bed, but Nick looks so excited, his eyes twinkling in the faint glow omitted from my alarm clock, that I just can't refuse. "I'm coming." He waits for me to pull on the warm hoodie and socks before taking my hand and gently tugging me out of the room, catching the door just before it slams so that it closes quietly. The hallway is eerily silent. The only light is from the window at the very end of the corridor, the moon reflecting the sun's bright light, illuminating the hallway in a beautiful silver so that our silhouettes cast dark, twisted shadows as we creep down the corridor, hands clasped lightly between us. I don't know where Nick's leading me; it's the opposite direction to the staircase that descends down to the common room and tiny kitchen. The silence rings in my ears, louder than a drum. My heart's fluttering away in my chest, whether due to the dark, the curfew breaking or the soft caress of Nick's hand in mine, I don't know. We reach the end of the corridor quickly, socked feet making no noise on the thick, rich blue carpet that lines the floors. The door at the end of the hallway leads to one of the storage rooms. There's nothing in there but a load of old furniture, so I have no idea why Nick's leading me inside, wincing at the noise when the door creaks open, then slams shut behind us. I've never been in the room before; there was no need to.

The first thing I notice is the ceiling; a skylight window is situated right in the centre, light from the moon casting it's silvery aura on the contents of the room. It's mainly just junk in there, a random assortment of broken lamps, a few desks and even an old coffee machine. But Nick's eyes are darting around the room quickly before finally coming to rest on a long, wooden pole leaning against a wall. I watch as he snatches it up, raising it in the air and poking around the skylight, his face a mask of concentration. I watch him idly, wondering vaguely what he's trying to do. Suddenly, a blind flicks out across the window, submerging the room in darkness.

"Shit," Nick mumbles. There's silence for a few seconds, the darkness swelling. I'm not afraid of the dark, but I prefer light. Who doesn't? Apart from, you know, Voldemort. Then there's a crash, and Nick falls against me, his arms reaching out in a reflex and knocking us both to the floor.

"Douchebag," I laugh affectionately, trying to ignore the fact that his body is sprawled across mine, his right cheek pressing against my left, his legs tangled with mine. It's a pretty hard thing to ignore.

"Oh, god, sorry!" He's laughing too; I can feel his chest rising and falling next to mine. If I concentrate hard enough, I can feel his heart fluttering away. It's beating just as fast as mine, though in his case it probably has more to do with the fall than with our proximity. Heartbeats are beautiful. It makes you feel so close to someone, being able to feel their heart throbbing under your hand, steadily chugging along, filling them with life. Hearts are always connected with love, and it's easy to see why. It's your heart that beats faster when you see them, your heart that aches when you think of them, your heart that breaks when they leave you.

I remember a time, a few years ago, when my long-term girlfriend at the time, Anna, cheated on me_. She'd been my first serious relationship, the first person I'd gone all of the way with, the first person who I'd said '_I love you' _too. I had been the perfect boyfriend. I'd sent her flowers on a Monday, just because I knew it would cheer her up. On a schoolday, I'd wake her up with a '_Good morning, Beautiful_,' text. I'd let her wear my hoodies when she left in the mornings, so that she could show off to her friends. I was sixteen, and at the time, it had been the end of the world when I found out what she'd done. I'd loved her, I really had. And I'd been so sure she'd loved me. We'd done everything together. It was one of those things. We were a solid couple. We were Jeff and Anna. There was no Jeff without Anna, and no Anna without Jeff. That's probably why it hurt so much when I caught her. It was her birthday, and I'd gone round to her house to give her the present I'd spent weeks choosing. She'd said for me to come round at five, but I was eager to give her the beautiful pendant that I'd spent all of my savings on. I let myself in her house; she'd given me the key months ago. I was half an hour early, but I knew she wouldn't mind. The house was brightly lit, though her parents worked late, so she was the only one home. I made my way up to her room, almost bouncing with excitement. Her bedroom door was closed, I assumed she was in there, listening to music or watching a film. There was a squeak when I knocked on the door, followed by the sound of someone moving quickly. Being the naive guy I was, I assumed I'd just scared her, and pushed open the door. Whatever I'd thought I'd find, it wasn't a naked jock in her bed. _

_I drove back to Dalton. To be honest, I'm surprised I didn't crash the car. I could hardly see through my tears, barely breathe through my sobs. Nick was there within seconds of me reaching my room, almost knowing, the way best friends do, that there was something wrong. He hugged me close, holding me while I cried, listening to me tell and re-tell the story. _

_"Sssh," He'd whispered over and over into my hair when words failed me again, comforting, supporting, _there_. After what seemed like hours, the sobs receded, leaving me gasping on air. _

_"Nick," I'd whispered, looking up at him slowly, watching as his face crumpled in symathy, his own eyes reflecting my pain. "Nick, why does it hurt so much?" He let go of me slowly, turning so that he faced me properly, shaking his head slowly, sadly. _

_"Because," He'd replied slowly, bringing a hand to my chest, resting it gently over my heart, "Because your heart is broken." _

_"Can you fix it?" I'd asked, blinking away fresh tears. _

_"I could try," He smiled faintly, slowly getting up from his position on the floor and going into the bathroom. Seconds later, he returned with a small box. "Here," He said, producing a coloured strip from the box, "Put a plaster on it." He lowered himself down to my level again, slowly reaching out and sticking the plaster on my tshirt, over the place where my heart was. "There. All fixed." I'd smiled a watery smile at the gesture, the movement making my face feel weird from where the tears had dried there. There was a second of silence, where I looked down at the plaster. "Jeff?" Nick had asked tentatively when I looked up at him again, "Why do you only have '_Blue's Clues' _plasters?"_

_"Because I like _'Blue's Clues', _I reasoned. And then I started to laugh. Not just a little giggle, a proper, side splitting laugh. It wasn't even that funny. But somehow, Nick had made it better. He always did. _

"Jeff?"

I blink, shaking my head. "Mmm?"

"You were staring at me."

"I was just thinking." Nick clambers up clumsily, using the desk he evidently tripped over as support. It's empty, the space where he was.

"Need help?" He asks, holding out a hand.

"Cheers." I take it, and he helps me up. I can only see a few centimetres in front of my nose, and I nearly topple over as soon as I'm up on my feet again.

"Right," Nick says slowly, holding his arms out in front of his face, wading through the room until I can't see him anymore. And then there's light. He's standing next to the wall, grinning triumphantly. "I found the light switch!" Seconds later and he's back, still smiling.

"I'm so proud of you," I mutter sarcastically, handing him the pole when he gestures for it.

"As you should be," He agrees, resuming his poking at the skylight.

"I was being sarcastic."

"I chose to ignore that fact." He hooks the end of the pole around the loop on the blind and pulls it back, revealing the beautiful night sky, stars gleaming.

"Why are we here?" It suddenly dawns on me that we're just standing around in a storage room at 2:45 am (according to my watch, anyway) for no real reason.

"Just watch. What's the time?"

"Quarter to three." Nick grins.

"Perfect." A few more pokes and a twist of the beam, and the skylight opens like a window. The sudden chilly wind makes me shiver.

"Nice," I grin, watching as Nick pokes some more, and a metal ladder folds down from where it had evidently been stored on the roof. I had no idea that was there. I didn't know that this room had anything more than a few old books in, to be honest. Nick grabs a carrier bag from the floor, then starts to climb the ladder, turning to glance round at me when he gets about half way.

"Coming?"

"Course." I follow suit, climbing the ladder after him. A sigh of happiness echoes from above me, as Nick climbes up and over the edge of the window.

"Hurry up, it's beautiful up here." The ladder shakes a little as I climb it, watching as above me, the window seems to get bigger and bigger, and the air gets colder. Eventually I reach the top, climbing carefully over the edge. Nick's right. It is beautiful up here. The roof is flat, I'd always known that, but I didn't know it was like this. The ground is concrete, with small walls only around 15 centimetres tall around the edge, probably to stop people falling off. But I'm barely registering any of this. Because the _sky. _There's not a cloud in sight, nothing hiding the stars, all of them shining bright, illuminated by the light of the full moon. Nick smiles, coming to stand next to me.  
>"Beautiful, isn't it?"<p>

"Breathtaking," I agree, slowly shifting my gaze from the endless sky to Nick's face. It's too dark to make out indevidual features, just a silhouette, and the small amount of light dancing in his eyes. He smiles again, blinking slowly. We just stare, eyes flickering between the sky and each other. The atmosphere changes, almost in an instant. The air seems to be thicker, warmer. My heart's beating faster again.

"This isn't even the best bit," Nick whispers. He moves away, slowly, pulling two blankets out of the carrier bag. He spreads one out of the ground, right in the centre of the roof and settles himself down on it, gesturing silently for me to join him. I do, sitting down next to him cross-legged and resting my head on his shoulder. This is how we always sit, close together, with one of our heads on the other's shoulder. He pulls the second blanket over our laps, before turning to face me. "What's the time now?" I check my watch, painfully aware of his eyes watching me.

"Five to three." It's actually pretty cold. Usually, I'd complain, but it gives me an excuse to shift closer to Nick, and for him to put an arm round my shoulders. I can't tell whether my shiver is from the cold, or his touch.

"Not long now," Nick breathes, the corners of his lips turning up in a smile. "Lie down with me?" He adds, turning it into a question as he leans backwards until he's lying on his back on the blanket. I lie down beside him. The universe looks so much bigger from here, directly beneath it. It's huge, always expanding, never ending. I feel small, insignificant in comparison. It's actually quite a nice feeling. My hand creeps towards Nick's, and he takes it without looking at me, his eyes fixed on the sky. I turn to look at him. He looks completely stunning, lying there, his lips slightly parted in awe, the stars reflected in his eyes. He can obviously feel my gaze, because he turns to look at me, smiling. "Can you see the constellations?" He asks. I've never been any good at astronomy; a star's a star, however beautiful.

"No." I reply honestly, turning again to look at the swelling blackness. "Can you show me?"

"Of course." He lifts the hand that's already intertwined with mine, raising it to the sky. "This one here's Orion." He uses my hand to trace the constellation, starting at his belt, then branching out, tracing what he tells me is his torso, then his arm. I don't see how this cluster of stars makes a guy, but apparently, Nick does. "He's a hunter," He informs me, showing me with my hand where his sword is. And then, suddenly, something moves. A silvery blob zooms across the sky, what looks like a streak of silver following it before they both dissapear.

"Oh," I breathe. It's all I can say. It's so beautiful.

"It's started." Nick whispers, letting our hands fall, still twined together. "Just watch." Another star shoots across the sky, and I suck in a breath, marvelling in it's beauty.

"It's amazing." We watch in silence for a few minutes. Another meteor shoots, then another, and another. There really aren't words to describe it. It's like the sky's alite, talking to you, only you. Eventually, I tear my eyes away, shifting my gaze to Nick. He doesn't notice, still entranced by the shooting stars. I watch his eyes, how they light up whenever a star streaks past, how his lips moving slightly, as if he's talking. It takes me a few moments to realise that he's singing, almost silently. I don't recognose the tune at first, not until I listen close enough to hear the chorus.

"_Yeah, you and me we can ride on a star, _

_If you stay with me, girl,_

_We can rule the world, _

_Yeah, you and me we can light up the sky, _

_If you stay by my side, _

_We can rule the world," _

The song's not one I know well, but when I listen to Nick sing it, however quietly, I wonder _why_ I don't know it very well. It's so pretty, the way his voice glides over the tune, his slight Texas accent curling around the words. I squeeze his hand slightly, and he turns to look at me, blushing slightly. Our eyes meet. It's electric, at least it is to me. A thousand unspoken words shoot between us. Here, sprawled on a blanket under the stars, hands clasped and eyes talking, I feel closer to Nick than ever. Maybe it's cliche, the image in my mind reminding me how easy it would be to lean in and touch our lips together, to kiss under the stars. And maybe he doesn't see _us _the way I see us, but I know, in this moment, that I mean _something _to him. That it's not all one sided. That he cares for me, even if it's not in the way I hoped he would.

I'm not sure when I fall asleep, but when I wake up, it's not in the way I would have liked.

"Morning, Love Birds!"

I groan. My back's uncomfortable from lying flat, and I'm shivering from the cold. Nick's laying next to me, blinking away the sleep.

"We-es," Nick sighs, pushing himself up into a sitting position. I roll my eyes, though I don't comment on the 'Love Birds' comment.

"What?" Wes asks innocently, coming to stand over us. "It's not a weekend, you know. You do have school."

"Shit." We climb down the ladder in silence, making our ways back to our rooms. It's nearly eight; we're very late. It's only fifteen minutes until we're supposed to be at first lesson and we're still in our pyjamas.

"So," Wes says, once we're dressed and ready, drinking the coffee he so kindly brought us. We're twenty minutes late, but none of us are really bothered. We all keep straight A averages; missing first period won't kill us. "Nick, Trent tells me you're going out tonight!" He raises his eyebrows suggestivley.

Oh. Yeah. I'd forgotten.

_Great. _

000000

My chest feels restricted, like it's been tied up. I can't explain it any better than that. I used to think that I could express myself well through pen and paper, I used to feel like I could write well, bring out the emotions I wanted the reader to feel. But there are no words to describe how I feel right now. No words. My English teacher would give me a metaphor, tell me that my heart was a black hole of sorrow. A teenage girl would tell me that my heart was broken. But none of them even begin to cover it, so I'm not even going to begin to try and explain.

The thing is, I knew this was coming. All along, I knew that this day was inevitable; the day when Nick would finally prove, once and for all, that my feelings were not mutal. He didn't share them. _Doesn't _share them.

"So, how do I look?" He's asking, twirling on the spot like they do in the movies, flashing me a bright smile. He looks freaking gorgeous, that's how he looks.

"Amazing," I tell him, painting a strained smile onto my lips, trying to keep the bitterness out of my tone. "You look great." _As always. _

"Thanks, man. I have to leave in five minutes." He grins, turning to look at himself from the back in the floor-length mirror. He fiddles with the bottom of his shirt, tucking it in, then untucking it again, he face a mask of consentration. "Are you sure this isn't...too much?" I scan his body up and down, thinking. I suppose I'm a bit biased; if this was _my _date with Nick, I wouldn't care if he turned up in a freaking wetsuit. He's not in a wetsuit, of course. He's wearing simple, dark smart casual jeans and a plain white shirt; the first few buttons loose.

"It's fine," I assure him, trying to keep my eyes from staring at him. He looks so handsome. Heartbreakingly gorgeous. "I'd untuck the shirt though." He does so, quickly, spinning around again to check his reflection.

"Yeah, that looks better," He agrees, smiling over his shoulder in thanks. "Now... Bow tie?" he asks, holding up one of Blaine's hideous pink bowties, eyes glistening.

"No!" I all but shout, rolling my eyes when I realise he's joking; laughing through his beautiful eyes.

"Do you really think my fashion sense is _that _awful?" He teases, coming to sit down next to me. I'm sat on the edge of his bed, my toes playing around absantly with a soft toy bear on the floor.

"Of course not," I reply, unable to stop the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth when he clips the bowtie sideways onto the neck of my tshirt.

"Oh, very sexy," He remarks with a laugh. I can't stop the blush, dispite his blatent sarcasm. Grinning, I pull the bowtie off and toss it back at him. I'm aiming for his face, but he reaches up and catches it expertly, smirking at my frown. "I think I win,"

There's silence for a second as we look at each other. The playful atmosphere evaporates, his smirk slowly relaxing, his eyes widening. His hand is practically holding mine, resting on top of it, his fingers grazing absently over my hand. My heart rate quickens, even though I know nothing will happen. Of course it won't. That doesn't stop me from wanting to kiss him, though.

"Jeff?" He murmurs, his voice breaking up. "Jeff, I'm nervous." I take his hand slowly, giving him time to pull away. He doesn't.

"Don't be," I reply quietly. I have no idea why we're whispering, but I don't want to be the one to suddenly talk at a normal pitch again. "You'll be fine,"

"But I haven't done this in so long," He sighs, his eyes pleading at me, looking like a puppy. "What if I mess up?"

"You won't." I assure him. I hate doing this, telling him that his date with someone else will be great. The jealousy is hurting like a physical wound to my chest. I'm at my breaking point, jealousy and anger and damn self hatred making me feel ill. I'm trying to contain it, but I'm a ticking time bomb. I know that soon, I'll explode, the anger bubbling over the surface. I just hope Nick's gone by the time I do.

"What if she doesn't like me?"

"Why would she have asked you out if she didn't?" I reason, but my head's starting to ache, and I know it won't be long before I break down.

"But... What if she doesn't like _me._ We've never, you know, had a conversation before!" Desparate. That's the only way I can describe his tone. I'm actually kinda fed up. It's a date. he doesn't need to panic.

"Then what a shame, but you'll live, right?" It comes out harsher than I meant. He looks wounded for a second, but then carries on with his rambling like nothing happened. I feel like screaming.

"But what if she stands me up?"

"Why would she do that?"

"You never know-"

_Oh god, shut up already. _

There's silence. Oh. Shit. I said that out loud.

"I'm sorry." He says, his voice small and sheepish. I should apologise, hug him and give him more dating advice, but just his pathetic tone has me started off again, angry. I ignore him, trying to bottle it in. I really don't know why I'm angry. Jealousy I understand, but I shouldn't be angry. He's at perfect liberty to date whoever he wants, as Hermione Granger once said.

"Jeff?"

"It's nothing. Don't... I'm sorry, okay?" Again, my tone is sharp, cold. I take a few deep, steadying breaths to calm myself, pushing away the anger. Nick looks up from where he was staring at the carpet to meet my gaze, his eyes filling with tears. Suddenly, the anger that I'd all but pushed away returns, stinging me. What right does _he _have to be upset? He's the one going out on a date tonight. He's the one with the power here. I should be the one crying, I'm the one that has to watch the guy I'm in love with go out on a date with a girl, helplessly, because as far as he's aware, I'm straight. "Why are you angry?" His voice is hard, not wavering. I just wish he'd see. I want him to know, but I don't want to be the one to tell him. Tell him that I'm in love with him.

"Because I'm jealous." However stable his voice was, mine's the complete opposite, breaking on the last words. My face is screwed up, my eyes crinkled. I must look like such an idiot. There's silence for a few more seconds whilst Nick processes the information.

"You... You like Mia?" He blinks, his eyes not leaving mine, even as I look away out of embarrassment. Now's my moment. I can do it.

"No." It comes out barely more than a whisper. My throat feels dry, my heart racing away in my chest, my cheeks a bright, unmistakable red. I can't believe what I've just said.

"Then... What?" I can't believe he's so oblivious. I wish I didn't have to say it. I can do it, I can do it, I can-

"I just haven't been on a date in a while... You're getting all the action, man." I can't do it. I couldn't. I'm a coward. I hate myself for it.

"That's not it." I don't know how he knows. He shouldn't. But he does. "You know you can tell me anything,"

"I don't want to," I reply, sounding like a spoiled child.

"Please, Jeff. You're my best friend."

"No, I can't-"

"Jeff."

"Nick."

"You can tell me."

"No, I really can't." I'm getting annoyed again. I just wish he'd stop _pushing. _

"Jeff, If you don't tell me, I'll-"

"Please, Nick."

"Jeff, I want to know-"

"But I don't want you to know!" We're properly arguing now. I don't know exactly when light bickering turned into this, but we're standing up, facing each other, both of our faces red, rallying back and forth like a tennis match. My fists are clenched, the nails digging into my palm, probably leaving little red marks. There's a part of me that knows this is silly; that I shouldn't be arguing with Nick. But the complete anger, jealousy, resentment for Mia is swelling up inside me like a balloon, about to burst at any second.

"Why are you jealous?"

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"_Not_!"

"You said you were!"

"But I'm not!"

"Then what's your _problem_?"

"I'm in love with you, dammit!"

The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, flinging at him all of the pain, the hurt, the frustration right back at him like a whip.

For a second, everything freezes. For a second, I think that maybe, just _maybe_ this'll be like in the movies.

That he'll inturrupt me with a kiss.

Like in the films, when the beautiful girl declares her love for the handsome hero during a fight, but she's cut off when her true love's lips meet hers, because really, he's loved her too, all along.

For a second I hope.

I dream.

I wish.

But the silence stretches on, louder than words.

"Jeff..." His voice is as broken as mine was. I don't know what to say anymore. There's nothing left to say. His expression says it all, so lost, so broken, so confused. "Jeff, I had no idea." It sounds like a strange thing to say, really.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise," He murmurs, shaking his head a little. "Jeff, I love you, but as a friend, as a best friend." He's trying to let my down gently, and it hurts, more than anything's ever hurt before. My vision is blurred from tears. I feel like I've been torn in half. Like there's a hole where my heart should be.

"I know," I shake my head, freeing the tears, letting them fall down my face in trickles, like rain on a window.

"We... We need to talk about this."

"I know," I repeat, not looking up from the floor. I watch his feet moving towards me until he's right in front of me. He lifts my chin with one hand, slowly forcing me to meet his eyes. For one, amazing second, I think he's about to kiss me. He doesn't, of course.

"I don't understand," He mutters, still watching me.

"Neither do I," I admit, biting my lip. "It's so confusing." Nick moves away to sit on the bed, beckoning me to sit with him. I do, slowly, trying not to embarrass myself further. I guess there's not really any point, but I'm beyond caring.

"Explain it to me." That's the only prompt I need to spill out my heart. I've been holding this in for so long, and here he is, wanting to know.

"I thought it was just strong friendship," I start, trying to stop my voice from hitching. "I'd never had a best friend before. I assumed, you know, brotherly love and all that. But then I started noticing... things. The way your eyes sparkled in the sun. The sound of your laugh, how beautiful it was... is. Your smile. It made my heart beat faster, just being with you. And then I found myself imagining kissing you when we were close. I'd think about how easy it would be to just lean over and... The way you made me feel, Nick. Like I'll never be sad again. And it was so confusing, because I'm straight! But there you were, so handsome, so charming, so damn _nice, _and I found myself falling for you. It ached when we were apart. And when we were together, I wanted nothing more than to reach out and take your hand, or touch your face, or kiss you. I kept finding little things, reading into everything you did, because I'd convinced myself there was a possibilitly that you felt the same. When you took my hand because it was cold, and I was so overjoyed, because it's usually me igniting any of that physical stuff. I felt like I was pushing myself onto you, so I'd convince myself to leave it, and then bam, I'd see you again the next day and I'd be unable to control myself. I could go on forever, listing the reasons I love you, Nick, but I know you don't want to hear them. I just... yeah." I finish lamely, having run out of steam. Nick takes a deep breath in, his chest rising then falling slowly.

"How long?" The words break the silence.

"Almost six months," I reply. I don't know exactly, of course.

"Shit." And then it's silent again.

"Do... Do you hate me now?" I ask quietly, feeling stupid.

"Of course not." He replies, shaking his head. "But Jeff... I... I'm straight. I don't... don't..."

"Share my feelings." I finish for him, dispite being close to tears again. He nods, his face apologetic. "Friends?" He asks gently. I know what I should do now. I should say _'oh, of course we're still friends'. _But I'm selfish. And I can't handle it any more. Can't handle the temptation, the frustration, the knowing that he doesn't love me back. I can't live everyday, pretending like I'm not in love with him. I can't do it. It'd be so strained, forced. Everything would be awkward. I just... Can't do it.

"Maybe in time," I mutter, sounding like someone from an ancient book. "Maybe once I'm over you. But right now... It hurts too much." The tears are falling again, and I can see that Nick's welling up, too.

"Of course," He mutters, sounding broken. He gets up, slowly, sadly. "Do you want me to... Do anything? Get anything? Anyone? I mean, I could go and find Kurt, he'll be able to help you more than I can, but..."

"Could you..." I know what I'm going to ask. It's too easy, really. "Nick, could you kiss me? Just once." Usually those words would take a whole lot of courage. Right now, I'm empty. He seems to consider it for a second, tilting his head sideways in thought. He's an actor. He should be able to pretend to feel something, just like I've been pretending not to.

"A- Are you sure? I don't want to make this any worse for you-"

"Please. Just once."

He nods slowly. I'm surprised. I never thought he'd agree.

"Okay." And then he's moving closer. I don't even have the energy in me to feel embarrassed or awkward. He comes and sits next to me, his expression unreadable. Slowly, he reaches up to touch my chin, keeping his eyes locked on mine. Feeling's returning to my body. I'm not emotionless anymore. The touch of his hand waking me up, making me come alive. Carefully, gently, he leans foreward, bringing our faces closer together, parting his lips slightly and closing his eyes. My heart's racing again, even though I know this means nothing to him. I can't control it. After what seems like a decade, our lips meet, just as I close my own eyes. It's just a quick brush, but it sends tingles up my spine, sending warmth all through my body. He brushes his lips against mine once, gently, before pulling away. It's not the first kiss of my dreams, but it's more than I could ever have hoped for. My pulse is racing, my cheeks flushed. My eyes flutter open just as his do, and our eyes lock for a second. Nick looks away first, slightly embarrassed.

"Thank you." I mutter, looking down at the floor.

"It's no problem," He replies simply. The silence is stiffling. I need him to leave. He stands up slowly when I ask, making his way towards the door, still watching me. "I'm going to miss you, Jeff."

"I'll miss you too, Nick."

"C-Call me when... When you're ready to be friends again."

"I will, Nick." And then he's leaving, shutting the door behind him with a click. I let the tears come, let the sobs overtake me.

It shouldn't have ended like this.

But it did.

Because this isn't a story.

This isn't a fairy tale.


	11. Epilogue

**A/N: Aw, guys. Thank you for all the love. I seriously appreciate it. *group hug* **

**Well, I did promise you an epilogue. Sorry it took so long to write. I knew in my head what happened next, but had no idea how to write it. There are so many versions of this, but none of them answered the many questions you sent me. So, I'm settling for this slightly less plot related, but very question answering version**.

0000

The Aftermath (By Kurt Hummel and **Blaine Anderson**), 2018

Here is what happened next.

No, Nick didn't realise his love for Jeff and run straight back into his arms, like I'm sure you'd been hoping. (**Shame**) (I know, right) but he didn't go on his date either. He couldn't. Not when he'd just lost a best friend.

**See, that's what people forget. Jeff's heart was broken, but Nick also lost his best friend so unexpectedly**.

Jeff remained in his room for some time, but Nick came to see Blaine.  
><strong>He didn't know what to do. He felt so guilty, like it was his own fault that he didn't love Jeff the way Jeff loved him. He broke down. The poor guy had lost a best friend so suddenly. He told me how guilty he felt- how he'd tried so hard to feel something when they kissed, for Jeff, for them, but he was empty. He felt like he was kissing a brother, not a lover. There was love, but not in the way that Jeff wanted.<br>**After a while, Jeff came to see me. He was a complete wreck. I can't tell you how many times I apologised for letting him believe that Nick was in love with him. He was too upset to listen. I just held him while he cried; let him get it all out.  
><strong>Then came the terrible week.<strong>  
>The atmosphere was so tense. The two were like strangers, barely acknowledging each others presence.<br>**On Jeff's terms. Nick had asked, shyly, what Jeff wanted to happen. Jeff had murmured "Strangers" before quickly walking away, tears clouding his vision.**

(That sounded so dramatic) (**Focus, Kurt.**) (Sorry.)  
>Even then, with minimal communication, Jeff would loose it at seemingly random moments, running off to his room. And Nick would just hang his head, guiltily, despite our assurances that it wasn't his fault. All of us were constantly on alert, trying to keep Jeff distracted from Nick, and vice versa. Wes even rearranged the Warbler formations so that they were far apart. Everything was so much quieter without the two of them bouncing around like over excited ferrets. I missed them. We all missed them.<br>**After the first week, things got slightly better. Jeff didn't cry anymore, and Nick stopped feeling guilty. They weren't friends again, not yet, but they communicated more, moving on from the sharp nods or simple one word answers when necessary from before.**  
>We went out as a group to the movies. It was the first time I'd seen Jeff smile since it happened. Things did get better.<br>**They** **really** **did**.  
>Within two months, they were talking again. Maybe their friendship wasn't good as new; it had its rough patches, but they were doing their best. Jeff came out officially to everyone as bisexual.<br>**His parents took the news well; they weren't exactly thrilled; his father just thought it was a phase. But they didn't have a problem with it.**  
>The Warblers, of course, already knew, but he wanted to be able to say officially.<br>It was six months after he came out before Jeff was over Nick enough to date. Nick took this as a sign that he, too could date. Jeff dated Cameron briefly- both of them knew it wouldn't become anything serious, but Jeff wanted the experience of dating another guy. Nick met a girl, Hannah, at his summer theatre group, and the two got together fairly quickly.  
><strong>Not surprisingly, Jeff and Cameron broke up after about a fortnight. They'd both known it would happen, but they were both upset when Jeff ended things, of course they were.<strong>  
>What no one knew, however, was that for the past year, Jeff had been writing. Not just his story, that you read, but songs. Really, really good songs. An albums worth of songs. He got an album deal a few weeks before graduation, aged 18. This was the first time he told us about his music. He played some songs for us. All of them were breathtaking. He told us, quietly, that they were what helped him finally get over Nick. The songs told a story. Different songs for different parts of this story. We were so proud of him.<br>**After graduation, Jeff and Nick rented an apartment together, as they were both attending the same college, Nick majoring in theatre, Jeff in music.**  
>Jeff's album was released a month or so later. It was entitled 'Baby Steps', which was also the name of one of his songs, one about getting over Nick. It was pretty successful. It didn't jump to number 1 or anything, but it was in the top 40 albums on iTunes for a while, and two of his songs, Baby Steps and Heartbeat, stayed in the top 40 songs for several weeks.<br>**Everyone was so proud of him. Nick especially. The first time he listened to the songs, he cried, and hugged Jeff so hard that he couldn't breathe.  
><strong>Jeff's released his second album a year after his first. It's called Like the Song, and went to number 2 instantly, with his hit single, Always, staying at number 1 for weeks.  
><strong>Nick had played the lead in several community theatre productions, and was thriving at college. He was still dating Hannah, and the two were clearly in love. <strong>

Jeff dated boys and girls throughout his time in college, though his only serious relationship was with a girl named Emily, who he dated for six months before she finished college and moved away, breaking up with Jeff because she didn't think she could do long distance. **Jeff was heartbroken, but, with help from Nick, got over her.  
><strong>  
>After finishing college, Jeff moved to New York to focus on his music. Here, he met his long term partner, Josh. The pair have been together for three years. Jeff confided that he's actually looking to propose pretty soon. We know that Josh will say yes; they're both so clearly in love.<br>**A year ago, Nick eventually married Hannah, **(Jeff was his best man, of course)** but missed Jeff too much to stay in Ohio. The couple moved to New York only months after Jeff did, moving in a few blocks down. Hannah is currently pregnant with their first child, a little boy.**

Nick and Jeff are still best friends, all these years later. Their partners get on well, and the families spend a lot of time together. Jeff and Josh will be godfathers to Nick's son when he is born.  
>Nick auditioned pretty much everywhere before landing a role on a new musical comedy TV show, High. The pilot is set to air in a few weeks. Jeff is currently working on his highly anticipated third album.<p>

So all in all, a happy ending. Maybe not the one you'd hoped for or expected, but a happily-ever-after no doubt.

00000

**There. All done. *cries* My babies. **

**Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed. **

**- Agent 3 xxx**


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